2023-12-18

Becoming a digital expat.

I was born a digital native by default. I had flip phones and MySpace in middle school, smart phones and Facebook in high school, and by college there were too many to mention (remember Yik Yak? I found a massive bin of their branded socks in a Salvation Army in Birmingham, Alabama circa 2017). Throughout all that there were video games and online communities (forums, then Reddit, then message servers (I missed out on IRC, so this is Slack/Discord I'm talking about here)).

Thankfully, I managed to gain something from that maelstrom; namely, an interest in technology which ultimately led me down the path of becoming a software engineer. There was, however, a lot of garbage that came with the good. Worst among them was the development of what I've recently come to realize is a dependence on video games. Full on ignore-your-responsibilities-and-your-health levels of obsession that only really came to light once there was no more slack in my life to make up for it (hello, fatherhood).

The grooves that video games dug into my brain were something that I couldn't seem to keep in check. There was no moderation, even when I was trying to balance being a father and husband, doing most of the work on a home renovation that was spiraling out of control, and working a full-time job. I would go to sleep late in order to get some time to play, and if my son woke up briefly in the wee hours of the mornings I would stay up in order to play some more.

It was untenable. I knew that I was crumbling but kept on thinking that somehow I was on the cusp of finding the right balance. Fortunately, the awful games-as-a-service trend helped me to realize that I was playing games designed to keep me playing. That somehow let me snap out of it. My PC got unplugged and shoved to the back of a closet. I sold my Nintendo Switch. My daily script that keeps track of my to-do list now includes a counter of how many days it's been since I stopped playing video games. Today is day 164.

This experience has led me to further reevaluate my relationship with the digital world. I've been disillusioned with social media for many years already, but I still find myself scrolling for far too long on any site that allows me to. Hackernews, Reddit, even stodgy traditional news sites can suddenly pop up in a tab when I should be doing something else. I want my screens to be like shovels—fine as tools, and even satisfying to work with at times, but not something you'd go out and start digging with for no reason (I hope?).

I want my (limited in quantity) news to be delivered (to my e-reader, not my doorstep). While I am online, I don't want to see a single ad if possible (thank you, Pi-hole). If I get an itch to play a video game (I bought Baldur's Gate 3 in early access and gave up gaming before its full release, so tragic) I'll build a game instead. I'm reclaiming my time and attention to spend them on my family and "real" hobbies (moving atoms instead of bits).

In other words, I want 2024 to be the year where I become a digital expat instead of a digital native.